RHR – EPISODES

RHR – EPISODES

Episode 7 “Thunder Bay, Ont.”
Wed., Feb. 14 at 8:30 p.m. ET/9:30 p.m. PT

PORT ARTHURvs.FORT WILLIAM
FINAL SCORE:
WINNER:FORT WILLIAM

In episode seven of Road Hockey Rumble, Calum and Mark leave Manitoba for Thunder Bay, Ont. This Northern Ontario city is home to the Staal brothers, who one by one are achieving star status in the NHL. Until 1970 Thunder Bay was actually two cities, Port Arthur and Fort William, and fittingly, Mark drafts players from the former, while Calum recruits his team members from the latter. The losing captain must endure the “Firing Squad.”

PORT ARTHUR

FORT WILLIAM

CAPTAIN:MARK

CAPTAIN:CALUM

Larry Maenpaa
Les Maenpaa
Keith Anderson
Ray Decorte
Blair Parry
Rob Ticchiarelli
Jeff Fenerty
Chris Jackson

LOSING CAPTAIN’S PUNISHMENT:

Losing Captain: Mark: “T’was the night before game day and all through the Bay, not a creature was stirring EXCEPT the looming notion that one of us was certain to face the deadliest road hockey themed punishment known to man! It sucked going in to it, it sucked coming out of it…don’t try this at home kids, ’cause it SUCKS, y’all! Don’t say I didn’t warn you.”

Episode Links:

Official website of Thunderbay

Jared Staal
Eric Staal
Marc Staal
Jordan Staal

Jack Adams
Patrick Sharp
Alex Auld
Katie Weatherston
Edgar Laprade
Steve Rucchin
Lee Fogolin Sr.
Matt Johnson
Ryan Johnson
Trevor Letowski
Taylor Pyatt
Pentti Lund
Norm MacIver
Alex Delvecchio
Kaministiquia River

Episode 8 “Toronto, Ont.”
Wed., Feb. 28 at 8:30 p.m. ET/9:30 p.m. PT

TORONTOvs.CANADA
FINAL SCORE:
WINNER:CANADA

After settling the score in Thunder Bay, Calum and Mark move on to Toronto, Ont., the city that the rest of Canada loves to hate! This game pits Mark’s team of native-born Torontonians who love the city against Calum’s team of non native-born Torontonians who hate it. The losing captain gets “Spic ‘N Spanned.”

TEAM TORONTO

TEAM CANADA

CAPTAIN:MARK

CAPTAIN:CALUM

Paul Blake
David DiGironimo
Sean Brown
Scott Campbell
Max Piette
PJ Chris Conway Jason Jansson

LOSING CAPTAIN’S PUNISHMENT:

Losing Captain: Mark: “Well I actually don’t remember it but I do know that the next morning I woke up having been cleaned in places I didn’t know I was dirty in.”

Episode Links:

Official Website of Toronto
Hockey Hall of Fame

Episode 9 “Hudson, Que.”
Wed., March 7 at 8:30 p.m. ET/9:30 p.m. PT

FRANCOPHONESvs.ANGLOPHONES
FINAL SCORE:
WINNER:CANADA

The Road Hockey Rumble boys hit the highways and head for Hudson, Quebec, a bilingual, bicultural community. Here, Mark recruits a French-Canadian team and Calum captains Les Anglais. The losing captain receives the “Maple Roll.”

TEAM TORONTO

TEAM CANADA

CAPTAIN:MARK

CAPTAIN:CALUM

Jean-Francois Aumais
Stephane Cote
Marc Brabat
Chris Marsh
Paul Lacurto
Andre Maillet Sandro Morello Peter Thompson

LOSING CAPTAIN’S PUNISHMENT:

Losing Captain: Mark – MAPLE ROLL!!!

Episode Links:

Official Website of Hudson, Quebec

Episode 10 “Moncton, N.B.”
Wed., March 14 at 8:30 p.m. ET/9:30 p.m. PT

LOW TECHvs.HI TECH
FINAL SCORE:15
WINNER:LOW TECH!!!

In the 10th episode of Road Hockey Rumble, Calum and Mark move on to Moncton, N.B. This city is known for its ship and railway yards, but is currently being transformed by the arrival of new, high-tech industries. Mark captains the low-tech Moncton team, while Calum recruits the new, high-tech team. The loser’s punishment is the “Moncton Takeout.”

TEAM LOW TECH

TEAM GST

Dale Betts.psd
Ken LeBlanc
Marcel Bourque
Jason Baiani
Trevor MacAusland
Ryan Sorrey Tony Gallant Raymond Melanson

LOSING CAPTAIN’S PUNISHMENT:

MONCTON TAKEOUT!!!
Losing Captain: Calum. Quote: “I curl every week so meeting Russ Howard was a dream come true. Then he hit me in the nuts with a rock. I hate Russ Howard.”

Episode Links:

Official site of Moncton

Russ Howard Wiki

Geeks on Ice website

Episode 11 “Summerside, P.E.I.”
Wed., March 21 at 8:30 p.m. ET/9:30 p.m. PT

TAX HATERSvs.GST
FINAL SCORE:
WINNER:GST!!!

Summerside, P.E.I., is the administrative home of Canada’s GST. Fittingly, Calum’s Team GST fights it out with Mark’s Tax Haters, with the losing captain undergoing the “PEI Pinch.”

TEAM LOW TECH

TEAM GST

Trevor Cameron
Troy Gallant
Jason Ahern
Leigh Bigger
Aaron Doyle
Dan Roache Timmy Cameron Gary Kelly

LOSING CAPTAIN’S PUNISHMENT:

PEI PINCH!!

Losing Captain: Mark. Quote: “Lobsters are like ‘guilt-tripping girlfriends’ … they’re delicious with melted butter and sea salt, but when you’re in the kiddy pool together – they will guilt-trippingly pinch you until all your emotions are shattered beyond repair. Beware of the claws … and beware of the mind games, folks.”

Episode Links:

City of Summerside official website

Green Gables Heritage Site

GST Wiki

Episode 12 “Windsor, N.S.”
Wed., March 28 at 8:30 p.m. ET/9:30 p.m. PT

BELIEVERSvs.SKEPTICS
FINAL SCORE:
WINNER:BELIEVERS!!!

Windsor, N.S., is reputed to be the birthplace of hockey, although Kingston and Montreal have also laid claim to this piece of Canadian hockey history. The boys decide to pit the Believers in Windsor championed by Mark, against the Sceptics, led by Calum. The losing captain is punished with “The Pumpkin of Death.”

TEAM BELIEVERS

TEAM SKEPTICS

Cody Gallan
Jeff Gallan
Jeremy Bahri Brandon Kehoer
James Macumber
Patrick Rooney Nick Rafuse Brandon Tupper

LOSING CAPTAIN’S PUNISHMENT:

RHR PUMPKIN OF DEATH!!!

Losing Captain: Calum. Quote: “I curl every week so meeting Russ Howard was a dream come true. Then he hit me in the nuts with a rock. I hate Russ Howard.”

Episode 13 “St. John’s, NFLD”
Wed., April 4 at 8:30 p.m. ET/9:30 p.m. PT

TOWNIESvs.BAYMEN
FINAL SCORE:
WINNER:TOWNIES!!!

The final stop on Road Hockey Rumble’s cross-Canada grudge match is St. John’s, NFLD. The “townies” figure that if you’re not from the city side of the overpass, you’re a ‘Bayman’, so Mark captains the Townies against Calum’s team of Baymen, with the loser suffering the “Triple Threat.” Mark gets very lucky when Terry Ryan, former first round NHL pick and world ball hockey champion, is drafted onto his team.

TEAM BELIEVERS

TEAM SKEPTICS

Jon Dawe
Stefan Hancock
Shane Butland Chad Graham
Terry Ryanr
Jody Teryle Jason Hedges Dale Sullivan

MARK WINS THE SERIES!!!

LOSING CAPTAIN’S PUNISHMENT:

TRIFECTA OF PUNISHMENT!!!
1. Firing Squad
2. Shins of Silk
3. St. John’s Special

Losing Captain: Calum. Quote: Part 1: The Firing Squad. Ever had a 1st round NHL draft pick/world
ball hockey champion take slapshots at you? No? It really fucking hurts. While
Terry hit me with every shot, I think John Dawe only hit me once but he hit me
good! He hit me right over my heart and it left a mark on my chest that lasted
for 4 months!

Part 2: The Shins of Silk. First of all, Mark’s a pussy, it doesn’t hurt that
bad. Second, I have beautiful calves.

Part 3: The St. John’s Shit Mix. I still dry heave when I think of the smell of
that shit. The worst part, bar none, was the seafood flavoured catfood. That and
the fish heads. As for the clean up, well, I can see why they use firehoses in
riot control situations. Getting hit with that water was totally disorienting, I
couldn’t even tell where the ground was when I was tumbling. I had bruises on
top of bruises after that. And as for the part when they focused the spray
specifically on my rectum, well, I was able to strike “get an enema” off my list
of things to do in St. John’s.

You know what hurt worse than all of that, though? Losing the series.

Episode Links:

St. John’s official website

George Street Wiki

Terry Ryan’s Stats – Legends of Hockey

Turkey Joe’s

Cape Spear Wiki

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