“Yes, as a matter of fact, the blue DID go everywhere. YES, I did have a blue penis. And yes, it was marvelous.” — Mark McGuckin
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Episode 3 “Viking, AB.”
Wed., Jan. 17 at 8:30 p.m. ET/9:30 p.m. PT
The boys leave B.C. and travel east to Viking, AB., home of the famous hockey family the Sutters. Viking may only have 1,000, but the Sutter family produced six brothers who have each played in the NHL: Duane, Brent, Daryl, Brian, Ron and Rich. There is even a seventh brother who was rumoured to be the best player in the family but chose a different career. After meeting Duane Sutter the guys are inspired to find out which local family should be crowned Viking’s second-best hockey family, with Mark captaining the Quintons and Calum the Laskoskys. This week’s losing captain is forced to become a “Man-Steer.”
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TEAM QUINTON |
TEAM LASKOSKY |
CAPTAIN:MARK |
CAPTAIN:CALUM |
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![]() Blair Quinton |
![]() Murray Quinton |
![]() Doug Moisey |
![]() Jeff Laskosky |
![]() Pat Clark (aka Patty O’ Patty) |
![]() Roby Quinton |
![]() Jim Laskosky |
![]() Luke Laskosky |
LOSING CAPTAIN’S PUNISHMENT:
“That sucked. The cattle prod hurt like a bitch and it was pretty terrifying
for a city boy like myself to hear two horses galloping after me from behind. As
for the impact itself, well, luckily my face broke my fall, otherwise I would
have been in trouble. Afterwards I was a bit woozy, bruised up and had scrapes
down my forehead from sliding face first on the dirt. I’m just glad that the horses
didn’t run me over.” — Calum
Episode Links:
Viking, Alberta official website
Episode 4 “Lloydminster, AB”
Wed., Jan. 24 at 8:30 p.m. ET/9:30 p.m. PT
The fourth stop on Road Hockey Rumble’s cross-Canada grudge match is Lloydminster, AB. Canada’s famous border city straddles Alberta and Saskatchewan and so Calum recruits Team Alberta while Mark picks Team Saskatchewan. The losing captain has to do the “Road Hockey Rumble 100 Yard Dash.”
TEAM SASKATCHEWAN |
TEAM ALBERTA |
CAPTAIN:MARK |
CAPTAIN:CALUM |
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![]() Scott Hood |
![]() Merv Mann |
![]() Marke Burke |
![]() Jason Clague |
![]() Owen Noble |
![]() Wade Redden |
![]() Brody Foster |
![]() Kevin Simard |
LOSING CAPTAIN’S PUNISHMENT:
“I just feel bad for the people in that bar. And that girl who pulled the sock off…boy, was she disappointed.”
— Calum
Episode Links:
Official website of Lloydminster
Official website of Wade Redden
Wade Redden: An intimate portrait
Episode 5 “Regina, Sask.”
Wed., Jan. 31 at 8:30 p.m. ET/9:30 p.m. PT
BRUNETTESvs.BLONDES
FINAL SCORE:0111
WINNER:BLONDES
In episode five, the boys find themselves in Regina, Sask. To spice things up, the boys decide it’s time for an all-girls game. Calum chooses a team of dynamite blondes and Mark enlists the best brunettes. The losing captain is punished with the “Shins of Silk.”
BRUNETTES |
BLONDES |
CAPTAIN:MARK |
CAPTAIN:CALUM |
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![]() Alyssa McDougal |
![]() Kelsey Leifson |
![]() Drew Black |
![]() Sara Hearn |
![]() Olecia Obarianyk |
![]() Britt Warren |
![]() Chelsa Heywood |
![]() Tanielle Hilderman |
LOSING CAPTAIN’S PUNISHMENT:
Losing Captain: Mark “Waxing your legs is like giving birth…something I never want to do again. Ever.”
Episode Links:
Wikipedia artcicle on Louis Reil
Wikipedia artcile on Leslie Neilsen
Episode 6 “Gimli, Man.”
Wed., Feb. 7 at 8:30 p.m. ET/9:30 p.m. PT
NON-ICELANDERvs.ICELANDER
FINAL SCORE:
WINNER:NON-ICELANDER in O.T.
Road Hockey Rumble moves onto Manitoba and the town of Gimli, which was founded by Icelandic settlers in 1875 and has the biggest population of Icelandic people outside of Iceland. With the country’s largest Icelandic festival, Islendigadagurin, in full swing, Calum picks Team Iceland, while Mark heads up Team Non-Iceland. The losing captain is forced to be a “Human Shield.”
NON-ICELANDER |
ICELANDER |
CAPTAIN:MARK |
CAPTAIN:CALUM |
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![]() Sean Cain |
![]() Jesse Giesbrecht |
![]() Dan Hotel |
![]() Cory Jacobson |
![]() Craig Hainsworth |
![]() Tyson Zelenitsky |
![]() Matt Johnson |
![]() Lee O’Hara |
LOSING CAPTAIN’S PUNISHMENT:
Losing Captain: Calum “Blunt tipped or not, I do not reccommend getting shot with arrows. It really f**king hurts. They were surprisingly accurate with those things. I think about 8 of them hit me in the exact same spot my right thigh. I still have a swollen bump there and I think it’s permanent.”
Episode Links:
Icelandic Festival (Islendingadagurinn)
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